Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A new discovery

A couple of nights ago, after bath time, Bilal was perched, as usual, on the bathroom counter, getting ready to brush his teeth. While he was staring into the mirror he stroked his sternotomy scar with his finger. The conversation went something like this:

Bilal: "What happened here?"

Mama: "That's where the doctor fixed your special heart."

Bilal: "Nawwww! That's where I hurt myself last week!"

I figured we didn't need to broach the topic any more until he asked more questions. I know what he doesn't know, the scar isn't going away. And it stands for much more than a boo-boo he may have got last week. Such an innocent response! Until now, to test the waters, I have asked him a couple of times about his scar, and he would say, "Tiny scratched me." Tiny is our 6 year old blue tabby, who would probably let Bilal cut off her tail if he tried, she's so gentle with him! She's often gotten blamed for cuts and scrapes he has gotten on his legs, from doing usual 'boy' things. He even blamed her for the little scar he has on his lower abdomen from his hernia repair surgery.

I know as he gets older Bilal will have more questions about his scar, and his heart. For now I am going to let a three year old believe whatever he wants to, and perhaps preserve that precious innocence a little bit longer.


How does this smart little three year old's mind tick? Sometimes I wonder............

4 comments:

Tina:0) said...

I, too, have often wondered what will happen when Vaeh discovers her sternotomy scar. She's found her cath scars (she has always been a difficult find during the cath & so she has a lot of little poke scars!). She doesn't really seem phased when I tell her where they came from.

I love the picture of Bilal sitting on the beech... so innocent! Hope you're having a good summer!

The Smith's said...

I loved this post ... I often think about how to talk to Luke about his "special" scars. Right now, we bring them up more than he does. We call his sternal scar his "superman" scar. Hopefully as he grows up, it will be simply be just part of who he is.

Also, I wanted to thank you for your potty comment! I was just thinking about maybe when we really buckle down to potty train this fall, we should use the big potty. I think it's a great idea.

Have a great week!

Jesse

The Portas said...

It is soooo interesting what goes on in their little heads! It intrigues me to see/hear kids express themselves. I just love that Bilal shrugged off his very major scar/surgery off as "something that happened last week." :) So cute.

I think I must have referred to Elijah's scar as an "owie" early on because now whenever other kids mention their owies, Elijah pulls up his shirt and points to his chest. It always breaks my heart, but at the same time that scar signifies the battle we have all fought so it lifts me up, too.

Thanks for sharing this very sweet story. :)

Jen said...

What a precious moment. I just adore Bilal's sweet response. There's no doubt that he will grow up with confidence and realize that his scar is something to be proud of.

On the other hand, my husband jokes that he's hoping Gabby will be slightly self-conscious.... you know, just enough to keep it covered :)

Bilal is just adorable and that picture of him is so darn cute!

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